Friday, August 09, 2002

It’s a beautiful day, been raining all morning, there’s a large ugly frog on the porch, beady eyes et al. The grass needs trimming, the colony’s going to ruin.
Not like earlier. When I was a kid here, everything used to be in landscaped order. It’s a beautiful colony, some five lawns and huge trees. Clusters of bougainvillea and periwinkles. Drainage canals run next to the houses, overflowing in the monsoon. The kids don’t run paper boats in the brown waters though. We used to make tunnels and rivers on the sandy bed in the playground and drag the main pipe off the large lawn to fill it up. We could race cycles through the roughest paths and skate through the steepest roads.

My BMX lasted through school.
Wonder when I gave it away.
I still have my roller-skates, though I only use them in the house now. Too scared of falling on the roads.
Wonder when I learnt fear?

Every age has had its pleasures, some more debauched than the rest…
Darn right, I’m going to write.
All these logistical constraints over the last few days, not the least of which being, blogger overturning my carefully constructed verbal context, have taken away the scarce kegs of creative juices I strain to possess.

‘Tis the old argument all over again. Safety versus impulse, with the two not necessarily being mututally exclusive domains.
Of course, only in hindsight will the ‘intersperse’ show. So what the hell do I do?
All signs point to the obvious, anthropology it is, with the future carefully chalked out and direction signs mapped to scale.
But the motive power behind quitting was the ‘write’. And hence the MFA and all resultant jubilation. Doesn’t seem to be the safest option actually. Check the shelves at Crossword, overflowing with confetti and packing paper. Signs of a healthy, wholesome industry with unhealthy component parts. Writers starved for words, epicurean audience with the freedom to pontificate and reject. I can make a better career writing Hindi film lyrics.

Still figuring out the whole mess, slowly, surely…