Monday, May 10, 2004

It's half past four in the morning and I have been awake all of forty eight hours. The last paragraph of my second last paper reads,

'The text stops at death. Death may be considered at one level as essentially marked by its non-narratability, by its rupture of language.'

I always knew that I have an element of latent morbidity dying to be announced...Forgive me for I know not what I say. Lesser coffee and more sleep and the world will be on its feet again. Actually the view's not too bad upside-down.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Heteronomy: (n.) A term applied by Kant to those laws which are imposed on us from without, or the violence done to us by our passions, wants, or desires.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I am tired. All I want to do is go home for a while. And leave my brains on the sixth floor of the Perry Castaneda Library. Nestled in between the cubicles with the electric outlets and the sofa that looks out onto the grass. Leave it there and beg it not to think in my absence. For that is and has always been my undoing. The racing ahead of time and the careful construction of brittle scenarios. My only excuse being that maybe all the construction will make its way to a relatively controlled reality. Fat friggin chance!

Not happening, not now, not soon, maybe not ever. And pay no attention because this day and this week is the fractal that plays itself out every once in a rare frequency. And I am tired. And I am going home. In two weeks' time...

Monday, May 03, 2004

I am in a strange state of liminality. Papers hovering like Damocles' army no less. And none seem to have any end in sight. But it'll come together. Oh yes, it will....and or least, that's what half the town said....the half that I called up last night to whine to, that is.

But today and tomorrow might just be illuminating in other ways...other non-academic decisive ways...ways I dare not contemplate and ways I cannot help but speculate...nothing fits and I doubt any of it will...and I know with the clear 20/20 vision of reason and logic that the only answer is 'nada, no way, uhuh, nil'...but but but

Liminality my and aporia...