Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Yesterday I had too little to say, today I have too much. And no, I am not talking about the blog. It's my friggin', bloodsucking, curmudgeonly paper on my mind! I have to find a way to love this thing else I'll botch it up beyond salvage. Cross your fingers and toes for me.

And on other fronts...and my fingers have been poised over the keyboard for only all of the last ten minutes and I figure there is nothing happening on other fronts. Send a little bit of nerve-wracking, synapse-bending excitement my way and I promise to return the favour.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Offshoring, outsourcing, captive, contract, blah blah blah! My head is spinning, feels like I'm back at work again. I need to play...

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Been a wonderful weekend so far. Sarod concert, dinner, movie....and now of course it's time to grade papers! My usual Sunday afternoon, 'let's do this while I am still well fed and in a good mood' task. One more hour and then it's back to conference blues. A whole shelf of unintelligible books is staring me in the fce. I have the skeleton of my paper in place and no flesh and blood to fill in the blankness, the black and white empty nothingness...which is where borrowed erudition dating back a few hundred years and accounting for no less than a hundred thousand pages falls into place. I need to convince myself of the temporary effectiveness of planning, foresight and prediction...

'If you want God to laugh, tell Him your plans...'

And even at the risk of being accused of perpetuating misogyny, I must admit that a lot of other things besides love are bitches.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Academics is definitely not a business for bleeding hearts. So scary to stand where the high-and-mighty of modern civic society meet everyday to purge their minds of fallacy and fault. Clean,neat and surgical; eager to stem the blood. Precision and focus, all brilliantly orchestrated to come together in the ever pleasing crescendo of truth, beauty and coherence. God bless them all.

I came so far for beauty I left so much behind
My patience and my family My masterpiece unsigned

We are so small between the stars, so large against the sky,
and lost among the subway crowds I try to catch your eye.

Happy Birthday Leo

Monday, September 20, 2004

Airports and stopovers. Where nobody talks and everybody’s in permanent liminality . My favourite word that. Liminality. Anthropology’s waiting lounge. Victor Turner and liminality. That’s the funny thing about this field though. Words come attached to their proponents. Their puny claim to creation. No brands, buildings or bridges. Just words. It is but a scavenger’s profession after all. Pick, discard, clean, sell. And why do I do it? Because I can do nothing else. Cannot climb or run or tend. I can walk, watch and make patchwork quilts. I am also very good at being audience. I could probably make a profession of that too.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Waiting, watching, wanting...on the brink of the discovery that there is nothing to be found. It is one of those hot, humid, summer days when the weather drips into your body and lulls it into the lust for indifference.

Inactive. Indifferent. Invulnerable.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

To Tirzah
...........................................................................
Whate'er is Born of Mortal Birth
Must be Consumed with the Earth
To rise from Generation Free
Then what Have I to do with Thee?
............................................................................
The Sexes Sprung from Shame and Pride
Blow'd in the Morn; in evening Died
But Mercy Chang'd Death into Sleep
The Sexes rose to Work and Weep
............................................................................
Thou Mother of my Mortal Part
with Cruelty Didst Mould my Heart
And with False, self-Deceiving tears
Didst bind my Nostrils, Eyes and Ears
.............................................................................
Didst close my mouth with senseless clay
And me to Mortal life Betray
The Death of Jesus set me free:
Then what have I to do with Thee?
.............................................................................
- William Blake


...between 'self-annihilating fusion and impermeable individuality'

I think I do like school

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Life's full to the brim and some. This cup I am afraid will need to stretch its neck some more for the tea to stay in. Am having masala chai as we speak. Speaking of course being metaphorical for the kind of disjunctive, removed, protected lives that you and me the world revel in creating.
And abstractions are so cool.

I attended a talk by this lady yesterday. Very interesting and wonderful food for thought. Unfortunately it gets digested and ejected faster than most of my papers, useless as the latter may be. It is the classic antithesis, thought and action. That activists would want to associate with academics seems at one turn naive and at the other idealistic and yet in my rare moments of low-volume cynicism I might even be willing to concede effort if not effectivity.

I have three chapters of secular pontification for the night. Life if not good is nevertheless long.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

It's been a fun weekend so far. Party-hopping Friday night and sleeping right through Saturday. So Sunday's staring me in the entrails and threatening to pull them out. Grading papers, reading notes, writing worlds. Normal, steady, calm and quiet....I am getting nervous about all this new-found domestication. Is this what they call growing up?

Monday, September 06, 2004

Is this the end, my friend?
Nopes, nada, nyet...not by a mile. Truth be told, I just got lazy. Like most explanations of life in general and love in particular, random, true, simple and straight. And then I wonder why I go around in circles and waste time configuring the peripherals. Habit, conditioning and all the good stuff I guess...

But now is the time to shake off the slumber, roll my sleeves and rant.

Am back in Austin, back in grad school and back to academic angst. Tis a good life me darlings...
More soon. How have all you wonderful people been?