Thursday, September 29, 2005

This is not the ways things are supposed to be. And yes, I know the 'supposed to be' is an egoistic enterprise; and yes, ultimately life will self-destruct; and yes, there are troubles far worse than these...and yet...

I don't like being upset and I don't like being sorrowful and I don't like being morose. But I am. For what is ultimately so 'not worth it'! But this then is the microcosmic representation of all that can be sorrowful and not right. Of things that were never meant to be the way they are.

I hate making things bigger than they are. And I wish my friends were here and not so far away. If only K weren't so inattentive, if only Anna was around, if only I could talk to F everyday. Is this then a regression to all things pitiful and adolescent? What happened to the years inbetween?

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