Sunday, January 29, 2006

I have a paper acceptance for this, and a whole week of endless tasks. Time to wake up and smell the coffee. And tea, and whatever source of caffeine I can find.

Restlessness has crept in. Along with intolerance, impatience and all the other irritating prefixes. The naysayers. And make no mistake, I love them all. At any point of time, I only have to locate the hyphens and the prefixes to figure out the number of things that are wrong with life and its demons. Right now, I detect fear, uncertainty and that order. Fear of inability to write exams, fear of prospectus fear of never being able to make sense of why exactly it is that I do what I do...uncertainty about whether I will ever manage a week of unending certainty...and frustration with the lack of tolerable humans. The last I haven't been able to figure out. Either my bars are too high or I do not make enough of an effort or I do not have the time or I cannot afford the risk or the man with the blue turban is announcing the end of the world. Maybe all?

Well, truth be told, this is the situation. I have been lucky. I have known people who care. And I will not settle for less.